THE UNSINKABLE MOLLY BROWN

Forty is just around the corner. A week and some days away. I want to tell you that I am still super excited about forty. I want to tell you that I relish in the idea of growing older. I can't wait to live in one of those retirement villages with shuffle board and canasta and shuttle rides to the grocery store. (There's a weekday here where a shuttle bus drops off a bunch of elderly people to do their grocery shopping at Trader Joe's. I will be part of their community one day!) Woo-Hoo! Forty is going to be SO.DANG.AWESOME! These are all things I feel in my heart and soul. These are all things my body is not feeling right at this moment.

Saturday, Michael, the Cabbage and I all attended a family yoga class. We had fun jumping around pretending to be animals. Then I bent over to put my shoes on and I couldn't get back up. It was like someone had stabbed an oyster knife into my sacroiliac joint and was twisting. Et tu Brutu! I sort of wrenched myself up through the pain and mumbled something about my back hurting. Then we all got in the car and headed to IKEA and I just pretended that there wasn't an oyster knife sticking out of my back. When we got home, I was sitting on the couch and Michael looked at me and asked "Are you OK? You look like you're about to cry." It's hard to be OK when someone has obviously mistaken your SI joint for an oyster.

I pulled all of my yoga tricks out of the bag and nothing worked. This is how I found myself sitting in a chiropractor's office yesterday, having my spine photographed. I had maybe three vertebrae that where not in some state of impingement. My back resembles a deflated accordion. Many pops and some shock therapy later, the oyster knife was removed leaving behind just a dull ache. I go back on Thursday for more adjustment and to get a "wellness plan" for a happy spine. Thursday will be followed up with several more visits to get me back into a less sad accordion shape and into a happy, dancing accordion shape. Hoopa! I'm sore but standing up straight no longer makes me teary. 

The receptionist at the Chiropractor's office was entering my information into the computer when she realized we had the exact same birthday. She said that this is the first birthday she was ever hesitant about. She asked me how I felt about this one with it being sort of a big birthday. I replied "I think turning forty is going to be GREAT!" and as I leaned forward saying this, I winced in pain. I remember my friend John telling me about how his body completely fell apart when he turned forty. He said that all he could do was live on his couch for a year, but he feels great now and he's in his fifties. I guess I just assumed that all my years of yoga would protect my body from wear and tear. In some ways it has. I'm super flexible! I know how to get myself off the floor without causing more damage. I walk all the time. Actually, I'm in better shape now than I was in high school. I'm skinnier, my diet is better and I'm more active. 

So fine. I have a few more gray hairs and some of those have shown up in my nose and eyebrows. I've been experiencing pre-menopausal symptoms since August and my back (violently) went on strike for a few days. I got on my mat today and it was glorious. OK maybe not glorious. But it was pretty great. I know forty is going to fantastic. I still stand by my belief that forty is the year I pass over into the spectacular years. I will not be swayed. Forty is going to be amazeballs. 

I just have to convince my body of this.