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Kansas City MO 64131





Cindy Maddera

Hey, remember that time I said that I thought I wanted to take up running and then I kind of did, but then I didn't because of various (excuses) reasons? I have to say that thought has crawled back into my brain again.  Early last Saturday morning, I drove downtown to go to a yoga class at Sage (I like that place for a few reasons that is probably a post of it's own). As I drove down the city streets, I kept seeing women running or starting out their run for the morning. None of them looked happy, but all of them looked determined. And I thought "Hey! I think I'd like to try that whole running thing again." Then I had a two day sinus headache that has morphed into nasal congestion. Wednesday night I was have a fairly explicit sexual dream and I started gasping for breath because of well...things, but then I realized that I actually couldn't breath and I woke up gasping for air because I really couldn't breath. Both nostrils had become completely blocked. This hasn't kept me from walking more than 12,000 steps every day or practicing catching and throwing a softball. I got the whole getting hit in the face thing out of the way with the first throw. My lip is black and blue and my right arm and rib cage are a bit sore, but I still have all my teeth and I feel more comfortable catching a softball with a mitt. 

Despite the mouth breathing situation and sore body, I still think that I might want to run or runwalk or something that makes it look like I'm running. I just have visions of me and Josephine trotting along the Trolley Track Trail together. We could be just like one of the dozens of girl with dog on leash sets that I see running along that trail. I don't think a swishy pony tail is required. Just maybe a cap and some good running shoes. Look, I am just as surprised by this idea as you are hearing it come from me. Though I am surprised I am also grateful. Lately I haven't wanted to do anything. I get up and walk around and get on the treadmill. I get my steps in, but when the little band on my wrist nudges me for sitting too long, I'd rather ignore it. I drag my feet when it's time to get on the treadmill. I still do it. I still get on the treadmill and walk around. I just don't want to do it. Now, suddenly, I find myself wanting to do something other than mold myself to the couch. I am thankful for this switch that's been turned on in my brain. I think it's a good sign even if I end up just walking the Trolley Track Trail. 

I don't talk about being depressed too often here. Mostly because I still don't feel like I could be diagnosed with clinical depression. Winter time is, for a number of reasons, especially difficult for me. It's difficult for everyone, but usually I bounce right out of the winter time blahs with Spring. Spring time moved in at a snail's pace this year and my winter time malaise has taken time to shake off. Even on the sunny days where I've been able to ride the scooter and I've petted chickens and I feel kind of happy, there's been a section of my brain that still felt kind of sad. I am thankful for a shift in mood that makes me want to be active because it's a sure sign that I've finally kicked those winter time blahs to the curb. 

What else? I am thankful for and humbled by the happy Mother's Day wishes I received on Sunday. I have plenty of more thoughts on this but I think I'll save that for another time. I am thankful for the things growing in the backyard. This, of course includes the chickens. They are so big now. They are CHICKENS! I wouldn't be surprised if one of them lays an egg tomorrow. We had the most lovely salad of mixed greens last night for dinner. Michael kept picking a leaf out of the salad spinner and munching on it and then exclaiming "That came out of the garden!" I have discovered a new favorite way to cook mushrooms. I mix together some tamari, sesame seed oil and honey, toss the mushrooms in the sauce and the roast at 450 for about twenty minutes, turning in between. They are delicious and Michael even likes them, so I'm pretty thankful for roasted mushrooms.  We are happy, healthy and almost wise in this house. That's really a good reason to be thankful. There's also you guys. I'm always thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and a truly Thankful Friday.