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TURN TURN TURN

Cindy Maddera

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So, I'm looking at the Christmas tree this morning. Mostly because I heard something suspicious and sure enough Josephine was running out the door with Mrs. Claus riding a train in her mouth. (We mourn the death of Mrs. Claus today.) Other than the recently removed ornament, the tree looked perfectly normal. It was upright, not swaying side to side. There was nothing amiss at all about the tree.  I did notice that some ornaments had been moved around on the tree. I thought "huh...guess Michael's been moving ornaments around on the tree." Like this is a thing people do. "I see you've decided that this ornament should go over there, but really it's much better if we put it right here." Except Michael isn't really that kind of a person. 

Well, Michael gets out of the shower and starts to brush his teeth when I say "I see you've moved some ornaments around on the tree." He responds with "I have no idea what you are talking about." Except it doesn't sound that clear because there's a toothbrush in his mouth. He steps out of the bathroom to look at the tree and I point out all the ornaments he's moved. He just shakes his head and is adamant that he did not move any ornaments. Then he tilts his head, pulls the toothbrush from his mouth and says "This tree has been turned almost exactly 90 degrees. Look at it!" I look and he's right. The plugs for the star are no longer on the back side of the tree. We stand there stunned and slightly creeped out. The blanket the tree base sits on is not even wrinkled. We have no idea how the cat did it, but we're pretty sure it had to be the cat. Or ghosts. Or aliens.

Speaking of the cat, or not speaking really. He's got a few new tricks. Right now, he's with out a voice. He looks at you and opens his mouth and you expect to hear a "meow" but nothing comes out. He's mouthing "meow". We looked it up and apparently it's a thing that happens because cats are weird. It can be caused from many things from hacking up a large hairball to laryngitis. Cats can get laryngitis. Cats will also murder large earthworms all over your floor. That's his second trick. Because he is a jerk.