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Kansas City MO 64131





Cindy Maddera

There has been this green bug in the bathroom for a couple of days. It kind of creeps me out because it makes a buzzy noise when it flies and it's kind of fast and random. My way of handling it has been my usual tactic of just pretend it doesn't exist. I did have to discourage it from randomly flying into my face with the hairdryer one mornings. The other night I was brushing my teeth before bed when Michael walked in to tell me something. I mumbled around my toothbrush something about a creepy bug and Michael said he'd noticed it been around for a few days. He then grabbed a tissue and killed the bug while I flinched in the corner. 

Later that evening I noticed some sort of flying insect on the wall in the bedroom while I was removing the decorative pillows for bed (raised by a southern mom). Michael grabbed another tissue, except this one wasn't such an easy kill. It was a mosquito and as Michael moved in, it flew up and around the room. Michael said something about how he'd rather not shut me up inside a room with a mosquito (I have so many mosquito bites right now that if you connected the dots it would probably spell out 'fuck you') and then smashed it on the ceiling, leaving a streaky blood smear. As he was putting me to bed, Michael said "you know I've rescued you twice in less than hour and I get nothing but a nod from you". I replied "it's your job" which he thought was pretty funny. 

Michael and I have had many discussions on my lack of need. He says that I don't need him and that I'd be perfectly fine on my own. He struggles with my independence or is not used to being with someone so headstrong in their independence. It has been an adjustment for him, but it has also been an adjustment for me. I have to be mindful to not necessarily be more needy, but to be more willing to give a little, to say "hey, I need some help". It is true that I do not need Michael and I've told him this, but I appreciate that he makes things in my life easier. I've told him this too. I am grateful that he kills the bugs that make me nervous and that he's tall enough to even reach the ones on the ceiling. I am grateful it's his job to make things in my life easier.

I am thankful for surprise packages containing homemade peach jam with Morse code messages. I am thankful for the daily okra pick. I've pulled one okra almost every day. By now I just about have enough to dump into a pot of black-eyed peas and stewed tomatoes. I am thankful for endless cherry tomatoes because it's one of the three items that I can get the Cabbage to eat these days. I am thankful for hot summer days. The weather we are having now reminds me of Oklahoma summers and frying eggs on sidewalks. And, last but definitely not least, I am thankful for you.

Happy Thankful Friday!