Tuesday morning, I pulled up next to a slick Mercedes at a stop light on my way to work. The driver of the car just happened to be one of our security officers from work. The light turned green and I took off. He caught up with me eventually and passed me, but we ended up walking into the building together. The first thing he said to me was "man, you sure get that little scooter up there in speed". The second thing he said to me was that it is so much fun watching me ride that scooter. He told me that I just looked so happy and that you could see that riding the scooter was pure joy. I agreed wholeheartedly with him. Tension, sadness, anger, frustration just sort of blow off of me when I ride the scooter. I didn't buy a scooter. I bought joy on two wheels. But that's not something you guys haven't all heard before. This is not another entry about how wonderful the scooter is, though the scooter is the most wonderful thing. No, this Love Thursday is all about the contagion called joy. I am going to admit that this week has not been easy for me to navigate. I have been easily irritated and riddled with anxiety. There's a lot going on and coming up and stuff happening. Change is good, but sudden change is like getting hit in the face with ice water. I need a minute to catch my breath and get used to the idea that I just got hit in the face with ice water. Maybe all of this has made me hyper aware of the things in my life that bring me joy. Like riding the scooter or yoga. There was a day this week where Richard and I took our practice outside under the pavilion near our beautiful water fountains. It was just us and the roar of the fountains and it was bliss. At the end of our practice I said something about it being almost like resort yoga. In that hour of yoga outside I found so much peace and joy that I couldn't help smiling. I'd start grinning and then Richard would start to smile. My joy would spread over to someone else. Just like seeing me riding the scooter brought joy to that security guard. Joy is contagious.
And my days are full of these joyful moments. All it takes is for one person to witness that moment for that joy to spread. Faster than the common cold virus. I didn't even realize that security guard was paying attention to me when I was on the scooter. He witnessed me in a completely unguarded moment of happiness. Someone's always watching. I remember telling a friend this once in our HS freshman biology class. She'd cheated on a test and she turned to me and asked me if I thought any one had seen her. I told her "someone is always watching you". This reflection has made me very mindful of the times this week where I've expressed my frustrations in a negative light. How often has someone seen me scowl this week? Too many times, that's for sure.
For today's Love Thursday, I'm working on being more mindful of who sees those scowls and spending more time focusing on the little joyful moments that happen throughout the day. I'm going to be a new kind of Typhoid Mary. A Joyful Cindy. Look out. You could find yourself coming down with your own case of joy.