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Kansas City MO 64131






Cindy Maddera


I took Monday off from work in order to catch up on sleep and laundry. I don't know if missing a Monday has had anything to do with it, but the week has felt tilted. Maybe tilted is the wrong description. This week has felt like waiting at the bus stop for a bus that may or may not be coming. The bus stop is the fancy tribute to BB King one on 75th and Troost (the building is made to look like a piano, no lie). While the bus stop can be an interesting place (the people watching is awesome), you are still waiting. I am not actually hanging out at a bus stop, but my dreams have been very much like crazy people watching. The other night I dreamed that I stepped on broken glass with bare feet. I spent a large portion of time in that dream carefully picking tiny shards of glass out of my foot. I can assure you that as awful as it is for you to hear about that dream, it was worse being in that dream. Then I dreamed that I was standing in snow waiting for Chris's brother and his wife to bring the Cabbage home. They had taken her on some outing and they arrived at my house with the Cabbage asleep in her car seat. I just remember carefully pulling the Cabbage out of her seat and feeling the weight of her head on my shoulder as I lifted her up and carried inside. The rest of the dreams from this week are a blur of nonsensical images. When I'm not dreaming of broken glass or a sleeping Cabbage, I am spending brain power thinking about scrubbing baseboards and mopping floors. Michael has a thing this weekend that takes him out of the city. This means that I will have the whole weekend by myself, the first since Michael and the Cabbage have entered my life. Apparently my dream weekend alone involves brooms and mops, but yes...I have actually been fantasizing about cleaning products. I am excited with the prospect of buying a new mop. I watched various YouTube videos this morning on cleaning tile grout. I have Spring cleaning fever mixed together with I just need to be in my home fever. I'm not to thrilled with spending another weekend apart, but I'm thankful that I know I will use this time to my advantage. Michael always says that I make him feel guilty when I'm cleaning. I'm not sure he believes me when I say "but, I LIKE cleaning!". I do! I pointed at a commercial for a Bissel floor mop last night and Michael didn't even have to glance at it before he said "no". There's just something soothing about the act of cleaning and the joy of trapping yourself on the living room couch because you mopped yourself into that corner (I save mopping for last). I'm already scheming in my head about how much I can get done Friday after work. Hello. My name is Cindy and I might suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. I just think of it as a hobby. Some people like to play golf or build model trains. I like to scrub mildewy grout with a toothbrush. Did I mention I'm buying a new mop?!

Honestly, I'm thankful that Michael will not be here this weekend while I clean. I tend to edit myself cleaning wise when he's around. I don't mean to make him feel bad, at least that is not my intention when I clean. I'm cleaning because I want to and like to clean (not because you may or may not be a messy person). I'm thankful for a new mop. I'm thankful for the new cleaning supplies. I'm also thankful for the massage I've booked for myself Saturday afternoon. Really, I'm thankful for an opportunity to set things back to normal or my normal.

I am grateful for many things today. I am thankful for all of you who have gone out and supported my AIDS Walk page. I have more to say on that next week, but I'm looking forward to printing and mailing out some photos. You guys are awesome! I am thankful for beautiful Spring weather, mushroom quesadillas, and quiet evenings. And I am forever thankful for you guys. Here's to a squeaky clean weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!