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Kansas City MO 64131






Cindy Maddera


I woke up one morning last week and the first thought in my brain for the day was "I should quit Facebook". I don't even know where that thought came from. I wasn't mad about anything. I stopped paying attention to most status updates that are just re-posts or forwards or picture memes a long time ago. I think maybe I've gotten bored with Facebook. I know the only things I'm posting these days are pictures or advertisements for new blog entries. I haven't felt like saying more because, frankly, I haven't had too much time to put in any extra thought into some catchy one liners. No one cares what I had for lunch or that I have a list of chores that need doing. I'm just not contributing or taking much away from that daily activity, but it is a community (of sorts) that I need as a reminder of things I should do and not do. This doesn't make any sense, but it might by the time we get to the end of this entry. I can't tell you the last book I've read. No wait..I can, because I have photographic evidence of reading it. I have two balls of yarn ready to start on two different knitting projects that have been sitting there staring at me for well over a month now. Michael needs a scarf! I need to get with the program. My brain feels dull and inactive, like maybe I've been abducted by aliens and given a frontal lobotomy. In the last two years (three really), I've had to make so many hard core decisions and PAY ATTENTION that I think I may have used up all of my brain energy. Is that possible? I think it may be possible. According to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, I am at serious risk of illness due to the amount of stressful life events I've had in the last three years (my score was over 400 and that was leaving out Christmas). Any way, I stopped really thinking about much somewhere between the time Michael moved in and the trip to Ireland. Or maybe its just that all my critical thinking skills were going into those things and I've sprained something. Now when I'm forced with some thinking type task, my brain goes "ugh ugh ugh" like the engine in that old Buick Skylark I had in high school. Critical thinking is HARD.

I can either take up with the Candy Crush craze or start putting my brain to better use. Every November I have friends that do NaNoWriMo. I noticed that Tiffany had left a nice little message on Chris's facebook page about it last week. They were always NaNoWriMo buddies. I never participated because up until recently I never even thought of myself as a writer let alone someone who would write a novel. Last year I started a couple of writing projects that had the potential to actually be novels. I stopped working on the little bit of fiction piece because I needed to do some research. Then, I took a break with the Widow Maddera's Guide To Widowhood because I couldn't see an ending. Profound? Hardly. I just didn't know where it was going because I was not in a position to predict the future. I still can't predict the future, but I think I have an idea of how to tie up the loose ends of that particular bit of work. I think maybe it's time to finish this "project" and just maybe giving myself some sort of deadline/goal will motivate me to do that. We finished season 3 of The Walking Dead last night. I have a brand new MacBook that doesn't die as soon as it's unplugged from the power source. There's really not a good excuse I can come up with to not do this right now.

Plus, the fortune cookie knows things. It knows.

(That line only works if you use a creepy voice while reading it.)