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I'M THE NEW PUNCH BUGGY GAME

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I'M THE NEW PUNCH BUGGY GAME

Cindy Maddera

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After Chad picked me up from the airport Wednesday afternoon, we had a few errands to run to prepare for their big party on Saturday. We went to Home Depot to pick out some flowers to plant in the planters on their front porch. While we were debating what color mums to buy this woman walked over to us and just kind of inserted herself into our business. First of all she walked without swinging her arms. You want to freak Chad out? Walk up to him without swinging your arms. Any way, the woman wanted to know what we had planned for these mums so I told her they were for a party. Then she asked me what we planned to do with them after that. I looked a Chad and then back at the woman and said "keep them?". She then went on mumbling something about how we could eat the ornamental cabbage (I don't think that you should eat ornamental cabbage). Chad and I just nodded politely and then moved very far away. We made it inside and Chad was all "What was with that woman?!?!". I just laughed, waved it away and half jokingly said "Oh...that happens to me all the time. I won't be surprised if it doesn't happen lots while I'm here". An hour later we were in Richard's Variety Store. It has EVERY THING except food, but they have candy, so that counts. We were in the kids musical instrument section and Chad was telling me this story about a recorder (the flute kind) and this strange man comes from two aisles over to join in on the story. You know when you get the giggle fits in church to the point that tears leak out your eyes from trying to hold it in? Yeah...it was like that. I couldn't control myself so I just clamped my hand over my mouth and walked away leaving Chad standing there with the strange guy. A few minutes later, Chad rounded the corner and punched me in the arm. He said he'd just invented a new game called (I'm changing the name for political correctness) Crazy Punch.

I do tend to be a magnet for the weirdos. I've never really kept track of how many times a day it happens. I just assumed that this happened to every one at least once a day. Thursday I got punched at least three times. Friday...I lost track. Saturday I thought I'd be safe because that was party day and why would crazy oddballs show up to Chad and Jess's party? Do you see the ridiculousness of that sentence? Why wouldn't a crazy oddball show up at Chad and Jess's party? By Sunday, I'm pretty sure Chad was ready to be rid of me and my weirdo magnet.

And this is how I ended up with a bruise the size of Chad's fist on my right arm. He's an abusive Mother F@#$r.

(Just kidding. I was not actually harmed while staying with Chad and Jess.)