You know that moment between the lights dimming and the curtain raising on a big staged production? That moment when there's a sudden hush and stillness in the audience? I feel like I am in that moment. On the outside I am quiet and still. I am waiting eagerly for the curtain to go up and the show to begin. Waiting. Waiting. On the inside, I am loud. Sections of my brain are all talking and all at once. One side is doing math and budgeting and if I only pay this then I can do that. One side is picturing my carry-on bag and all the things that need to fit into it. One tiny section is wondering if I have eight days worth of underwear and if it's possible to do laundry while I'm visiting Talaura (Talaura, we may need to do laundry while I'm there). One bit of brain has been devoted to an impromptu weekend trip home and all that's involved with traveling with the dog. Then there's that section of my brain devoted to work and it's been working over time lately. All the chatter makes it hard for me to pull out a complete thought or sentence. It's at times like this when my normal routine becomes my security blanket. And even though I've been physically and mentally drained at the end of the work day, I have stuck with my routine of getting on my yoga mat followed by mindfully making dinner and weekly chore night. This may not calm the chatter, but it keeps me on track and it helps me to keep the chatter from growing. Falling behind on the routine would just take another section of brain away to worry about the things I am not doing. Worry about the things I am not doing. That part is my favorite. I am constantly worrying about things I don't do.
Tuesday, during my yoga practice, I was preparing for savasana and doing alternate nostril breathing (10 rounds) when I decided to add on some Om chants. I did 24 rounds of Om, physically saying the word aloud and feeling the vibration of the mmmmm. And it was weird at first to hear my voice out loud in my quiet little house. I always start my meditation practice with 24 rounds of mantra, but I always just say it in my head. There's something that makes me self conscious about speaking out loud in an empty space. This doesn't make sense because I will walk from the bathroom to the kitchen to start the rice cooker with nothing on but a towel wrapped around my wet head. Apparently I draw crazy boundary lines. But Om is something that must be said out loud. You must feel the sound waves as they vibrate through the face and through the body. And this is when I began to realize the power of Om. The more I said, the less self conscious I became. With each Om, a section of my brain would be come quiet, until finally the only sound in my head was my own hum.
So today for Love Thursday, I give you the power of Om. Ommmmm. Auummmmmm.