Today Chris is picking me up at 3:30. Then, we're going to drive out to Lee Summit and finally, finally!, sign papers to close on our house. That means, by the end of today, we will be home owners. This makes me laugh and cry all at the same time. In fact, I can't really talk about it at all. The words that I have roaming around my brain on this subject makes my throat close up and my eyes burn with tears. I don't think I can type them, let alone re-read them for editing (who are we kidding, I never edit). I've been reading about battles with seasonal depression a lot lately. I usually get a touch of it, but just a dusting that's easily brushed off. This time around has seemed like a bit more than a dusting and I think I've finally realized why. Every year since 2005 we've been visited by a monster. The monster comes and steals our happy. It seemed like his visits were so consistent that I started to brace for them even if they didn't happen. This time around, I have even more to loose if that monster shows up. Do you see how stupid this is? I am waiting for the bad to happen instead of enjoying the good I have. Sabotage. That's what I'm doing.
So here's what I'm thankful for this week. I am thankful for our home. OUR HOME! I am thankful for the clarity to recognize my self sabotage. I am thankful for my strength. Because when and if that monster shows his ugly face around here, I know I can kick his ass. Because I'm strong. Ain't no one's gonna steal my sunshine.
As always I am ever so thankful for you. Have the best weekend and a very Thankful Friday