TO RESOLVE

As the new year approaches every one's thought tend to shift to their plans and resolutions for the next year. I never make actual resolutions. Instead, I make up a list of things that I'd like to maybe accomplish. Looking back on last year's list, I realize that I didn't do that bad. I had two really big things to accomplish and surprisingly enough, I got those done. When I read over my little things list, I laughed out loud. I didn't do any of those things except move my iTunes to an external hard drive, learned something about my camera, and maybe watched an hour or two less of TV. That sock I was supposed to have finished is still toe-less. This week, I've been feeling a bit anxious and edgy about the approaching year. It's like that feeling you'd get on Christmas Eve when you were still little enough to believe in Santa, but not as warm and fuzzy, more knotty and stabby. I have things that I want to do next year, but the anticipation of it all is killing me. I want too much. I want to be crazy healthy, run a marathon, learn foreign languages, simplify, love my new job, be a better yoga teacher, finish knitting projects, have a food fight, go roller skating, go to New York, go to Yogaville, be super organized, relax more, camp more, ride the scooter more, be more charitable, be a better friend, be a better person....Can you see why I might need a Xanax?

I have started doing something towards the "be more charitable" category. Today I started my paper work for registering my bone marrow in the National Marrow Donor Program. I probably would have completed the application today if I didn't need some information that is at home. I heard a story on NPR recently about a little girl who needs a bone marrow transplant. After listening to her mother plead with listeners to be tested and register your marrow, I couldn't say no. I just couldn't think of a good enough reason not to do it.

In all honesty, it's hard for me to really plan much for 2010. I feel like 2009 has been a really really good year, something I haven't had in long time. And I'm just a little sad about leaving this year behind, but I know that the new year will bring just as much love, laughter and joy.