IN WHICH I BRING YOU TO TEARS

I start in a new lab on December first. And when I look at the calendar, my chest gets tight and I feel that little hard pit in my stomach. I'm nervous about the new job and worried about all the things that come with a new job. The truth is, I'd stay in my current lab forever if it was possible. It's hard leaving a really great job for one your not so sure about.

Today I started the task of cleaning off my desk. I've mostly thrown out old food and candy (I obviously was preparing for a nuclear holocaust). I threw out little plastic toys that had served their purpose and packed away the Ugly Dolls. But it was when I got to my pictures that I had to take a break.

The pictures I have taped to my wall are not special. They are copies of prints, spare wallet sized photos, and even a few photos just printed off onto paper. Some of them came with me from my last job and still had the tape from that time. But most of them are pictures I added over the time I've been here. On my wall, you can see my best friend's little girl grow from baby to five year-old princess. Then there are the other pictures that remind of the things that happened like my Pepaw's picture. He passed away shortly after I started here. And J's picture. There's the picture I took of Chris on our Honeymoon of him sticking his finger in a Storm Trooper's gun and the one of him and Todd dressed as Ghostbusters. There's even one of Lio taken the day he was born. As I carefully peel each photo from the wall, I remember it all. And I can't believe all the things that can happen over just eight years or even one year.

I have no idea what's ahead and this scares me more than anything really. And in Zelda's words "goodbyes are the stupidest thing since unsliced bread". Ugh. They really are.