BIG FOOT

Last night I had a dream, well really more of a nightmare, where I was in the woods studying Big Foot. Up until this moment I've always imagined Big Foot to be a peaceful creature, just choosing to keep to him or herself, quietly leading a happy sasquatch life.

The Big Foot in my dream apparently didn't get the Happy Sasquatch Living handbook or just didn't read his copy. The dream one was mean, territorial and violent. And scary as shit. I mean really scary. I kept telling myself to dream about something else. Stop thinking about Big Foot. It wouldn't work. I kept coming back to Big Foot attacking our research outpost and tearing the arm off of one of the research assistants. Big foot ransacking our camp site. At one point Big Foot even picked up a marker (Sharpie, of course, a red one to be exact) and scrawled in big letters "GO AWAY" on the side of a tent.

Well Mr. Big Foot, I wish I could have gone away. Truly. I know it's been a long time since I've had Ethiopian food and I know the house was full of people trying to fix Mrs. Swan's satellite. But really, I had no idea the combination would illicit such a reaction. And I promise (God willing) to leave you alone tonight Mr. Big Foot. Perhaps you might in turn try picking up your copy of Happy Sasquatch Living and giving it another go.