I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but some time around college I became a person who didn't touch others. This may sound odd, so let me explain. I avoided human contact like hugs or even just laying a hand on an arm in comfort. I didn't actually stop hugging people. I mean I still hugged friends and family. It's just that act of human contact became strained for me.
This is something that I don't even think Chris knows about me. Maybe deep down he knew, because it took me a while to get used to being physically close to him. Now, I couldn't live through a day with out something from him; a kiss, a hug, a touch, something. But it did take time to let my guard down even with Chris.
I'm not sure what made me build that anti-human contact wall. Maybe it had something to do with all the hugging from my 4-H and church years. I know that by the time I got to college, I was tired. Tired from all the volunteering and a bit jaded. But I've noticed lately that the wall has some major structural damage. Even though sometimes it feels slightly dangerous, I am more likely to reach out and lay a comforting hand on a student, even a stranger. And I'm beginning to realize that we need and even crave that human contact. I am learning, microscopically changing, everyday.
Note: Today's post brought to you by the letter C, for cheese. Don't know where this one came from.