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Kansas City MO 64131





Cindy Maddera

My blogging has been sketchy at best lately. I've sat down and typed up several posts, but I just end up deleting them all. We've just been so busy and under a lot of stress and I wish it was just the regular Holiday stress, but it's not. I can't even really believe it's Christmas. I told Chris the other day that it just seemed surreal to see Christmas lights up. Is it Christmas time already? I feel like I'm continuously talking myself out of a panic attack. Chris has a lot to deal with because his dad hadn't prepared for anything. Who knew there was so much paperwork involved when someone dies. He's so consumed with the paperwork, his mom and keeping up with his job that he doesn't have time to grieve let alone deal with a freaking out wife.

Chris's mom is having a difficult time with it all, so we're moving in with her to help out. We see it as a reeducation process for his mom, teaching her to live on her own. She knows that this is a temporary arrangement and that we will be moving in two years (I don't know where yet). So, for now, we are cleaning out her house and packing up ours and I'm doing my best to be a good sport and keep my chin up. But it is hard. It's really hard. But I will keep telling myself that its all going to be OK because I love my husband.