For the past year and half Iâve been under this cloud of general malaise. I have all these things I want to do and all these ways that I want to âfixâ? myself but I just canât muster the energy to do anything about it. I guess you could say that Iâve been depressed, but trying really hard not to be by not talking about it or giving myself little pep talks (âcause talking to yourself isnât crazy). I find myself staring at the anti-depression adds feeling like I really need those drugs. I mean not really, but sometimes I think that I do. Yesterday the cloud seemed to lift. I was standing in the bedroom taking off my jewelry when I yelled to Chris âI feel something that I havenât felt in a really long timeâ?. He asked me what it was and I said âI donât know. I think its hopeâ?. I feel good and not so angry. Itâs like I could drive down the highway without yelling at other drivers. You know what? I think Iâll knit myself some yoga socks. I might even throw in two colors. Iâve never done that before. Iâm thinking orange and yellow.