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Kansas City MO 64131





Cindy Maddera

For the past year and half I’ve been under this cloud of general malaise. I have all these things I want to do and all these ways that I want to “fixâ€? myself but I just can’t muster the energy to do anything about it. I guess you could say that I’ve been depressed, but trying really hard not to be by not talking about it or giving myself little pep talks (‘cause talking to yourself isn’t crazy). I find myself staring at the anti-depression adds feeling like I really need those drugs. I mean not really, but sometimes I think that I do. Yesterday the cloud seemed to lift. I was standing in the bedroom taking off my jewelry when I yelled to Chris “I feel something that I haven’t felt in a really long timeâ€?. He asked me what it was and I said “I don’t know. I think its hopeâ€?. I feel good and not so angry. It’s like I could drive down the highway without yelling at other drivers. You know what? I think I’ll knit myself some yoga socks. I might even throw in two colors. I’ve never done that before. I’m thinking orange and yellow.