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Kansas City MO 64131

DRY

Elephant Soap

 

 

DRY

Cindy Maddera

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Thursday night I slept with my shoulders scrunched up around my ears and when I woke up around 3 AM, my body was hurting and I was considering calling in sick. Sleeping hasn't been restful lately. But I got up at the usual crazy hour Friday morning and did all the things I usually do even though it hurt to turn my head left or right. Because this is what I do. I'm pretty sure I was a pack mule in my former life. Or a camel. Any way, I scheduled myself a massage for Saturday morning. I'd never been to this day spa before, but it had been recommended by someone at work and it was a very nice place. As day spas go, it was one of those kind you see featured in a magazine. The problem was I had read this blog entry by Pamie the day before. Really...you should go read it. It's horrifyingly funny. That was the first problem. The second one was that I forgot to put lotion on when I got out of the shower. I realized this as I was putting on my socks, but shrugged and thought "meh, they use massage lotion, that's good enough". Listen, if you knew how many times I forgot what year it was while filling out the paperwork at the new spa, you'd understand how easily I'd forget lotion.

Cut to my massage. Just as I climb onto the table I think "Life is gross. Carry a flashlight". So, that's in my head as I pat down the table to reassure myself before settling in (thank you Pamie). Actually, that thought doesn't really leave my brain until the massage therapist starts to work on my shoulders. But then I get distracted by the therapist constantly having to dip into his supply of body butter that he's using as massage lotion. My skin was so dry that it immediately sucked in the lotion as soon as it touched my skin. I could actually hear my skin cells making a slurping sound. The guy probably went through two buckets of body butter.

But, and this is the most important part, I can now turn my head left and right without wanting to cry. Yeah! And I'm well moisturized.