Ever get to the end of a week a wonder how you got there? I keep trying to remember what I did Monday or even Tuesday and it all looks like Swiss cheese. I’m exhausted and I have no idea why. It may have something to do with moving the futon from one side of the office to the other and back again because I didn’t like the way it looked against that other wall. I am trying to make my little office/yoga space work for two people. Last night I had to let go of the idea of keeping it as a yoga space. I can have my own work space or my own yoga space. That’s not really true. I can have both of these things; they just can’t be in the same room. And my new mantra has become “this is temporary”. Except seeing that written up in type makes me want to change it. Everything is temporary.
One day we will be in a new house, one where everyone has their own space, and we will miss each other desperately. I have been frantic with the idea of making room for two people in my tiny 750 square foot home. I have fretted over where toys and computer desks will go. My stomach knots at the idea of us crashing into each other or just simply killing each other. I have worried about him moving into MY space. I used to share that 750 square feet of space with another person and a dog and we were comfortable. I didn’t have my own yoga space or even my own office space, but I had a desk and an open floor space for yoga. After Chris died, I stretched out. I took over all of the space, all of the dresser drawers, with no room for another person. I see that now as a metaphor. Creating room in my home for another person is the same as creating space in my heart for another person. I am thankful for those two people I have created space for in my home and in my life. I am thankful for that drawer that I cleaned out that is now filled with little girl clothes.
What else? Well, after weeks of tests and wondering what the heck is wrong with my dad, we will hopefully have some answers today. They are meeting with the doctor this morning to discuss everything and finally get a care plan. I am hopeful that things can be done to make dad feel better and I think all of us are thankful to finally have some answers. In sad news, my brother and sister-in-law had to say goodbye to their chihuahua, Jethro. I am not thankful for that, but I am thankful that we had that little sausage dog in our family. He was a pretty hilarious little dog and he’ll be missed.
I am thankful for the cooler temps and the promise of a somewhat less hectic weekend. And I am always thankful for you. Have a super Thankful Friday!