I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
30 11 2009I kind of feel like I’m slacking off a little what with missing my usual Friday entry and knowing that the “things that Make me happy” list will be a short one for tomorrow. I’m just not sure how to put the Holiday break into words.
OK. Imagine a black hole and it’s full. Full of things and clutter and negativity and bitchy tones and drama. That pretty much sums up Thanksgiving. Food was good. Spending an evening with my brother, sister-in-law, and friends over drinks was good. The rest was tolerable. Chris and I talked about this on the way home. I think the biggest problem is that it’s in my nature to make sure every one is happy. But when it comes to my family it’s impossible to please them all, all the time. Particularly my mother.
My mother is just unhappy. Maybe one day she won’t be so miserable, but it’s not my job to fix her. And it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that out loud.
Our mother’s greatest gifts was raising us to be the brilliant strong women that we are. Whatever day it was that they both decided it was easier to snarl than to smile, i don’t know. but you and I have not lived that day yet.
their dreams.
their problems.
their needs.
their lives
not ours.
not invalid because of that either.
i love you.
That, Madam, is another step in the journey of personal growth you have partaken in this year!
Cheers.
I had hoped that it would be better after we left, or Friday when it was just yall & your mom. We had a great time Thursday evening with yall. Love ya