THE VEGETARIAN AND HER FAMILY
23 11 2008My niece-in-law celebrates her 30th birthday over the Thanksgiving holiday. So we all got together this weekend to celebrate since we’re all scattering for the holidays. While we were in Tulsa, we took advantage of their Whole Foods store to stock up on groceries for our Thanksgiving dinner for two. I got a tofurky and Chris got a really nice turkey breast from the butcher. We also got some things that we don’t have easy access to at our local grocery stores like tempeh and fancy cheeses and other things we didn’t really need. But who cares? We are going to have the best Thanksgiving dinner this year!
Yes…the best Thanksgiving dinner, even though it involves a fake turkey. My mother is having a hard time accepting my vegetarianism. I was going on and on about the tempeh I purchased and the future tacos they would become when my my mom turned to my niece and said “can you believe they eat like that?”. Can you believe it? There were other little jibes through out the visit, but it got even better when we met for Melissa’s birthday lunch today. Melissa’s original choice for today’s lunch was closed on Sunday’s, so it got moved to the local BBQ joint. I casually pondered what I was going to eat when my mom said “well, they have chicken and sides”. Yum… sides. While I was looking over the menu, Mom said to Melissa that this was a great place to take a vegetarian. She made it seem like I was the “complaining, stick-in-the-mud, how could they make me eat at a BBQ place” vegetarian.
Melissa didn’t know I had gone vegg. I told her that I didn’t care where we were eating. It’s not my birthday and it’s not about the food. But the incident left a sour taste in my mouth. It made me feel guilty and wrong. It was like I was asking my family to go meatless on my account. But that’s not what I want and I’m not asking for a seven course vegetarian spread, just a little bit of consideration and a tiny bit of thinking outside the box. Everyone has been pretty accepting of my food choices except my mom. She sees it as a big inconvienance and that our only eating out options are places like iHop or the Cracker Barrel or something with eggs (and once again…chicken is not a vegetable!). Being a vegetarian is not that big of deal. I do live with a carnivore and we seem to be making it work.
My mom hasn’t always been this way. When my sister went vegetarian for a while, my mom was very supportive. She praised JaNell and how well the diet was working for her. Why am I any different? She sees me as odd and eating foods that no one in their right minds would eat. I’ve become a hassle and require more “work”. It’s like I’ve decided to take on a new radical religion and shave my head.
I’m saving that one for next year.
Daniel noticed those jibes too and according to Amanda he was giving some good ones under his breath back at mom.
I worried about you when Melissa wanted BBQ, but I thought we could cross that bridge when we got there. I did not hear your Mother nor did your brother, or I’m sure something would have been said. Oh, well, it was just great to have the family together, (except Thomas & Bud).
When Tom and I went veg we had trouble with this sort of thing. We still get a little static from some parts of Tom’s family, but it has dwindled to almost nothing. Well, almost no comments. But still weird treatment.
When we go eat at Tom’s parents’ everything is meat or meat-garnished except Tom’s mom will open a can of green beans for us. And that’s it. Canned, microwaved green beans and rolls.
And (turns out we’re staying home, but) this year Tom’s mom and sis-n-law made a big deal of how they were going to make a “vegetarian” gravy for the mashed potatoes. I thought a) oh, I guess it’s not canned green beans for us this year; it’s mashed potatoes, and b) gravy has MEAT in it? Since when?
Tom has GREAT Thanksgiving recipes. I’ll have him send you the one for our main dish, which is some kind of enormous orange squash.
I’m a complete carnivore, but things like that just make me want to say, “You know what? Until you guys can pull your heads out of your asses, and make a fucking effort to do more than open a can of green beans, or overcome your belief that somehow a goddamn side salad qualifies as an acceptable vegetarian “meal”, we’re outta here. Obviously, you care so much about us visiting that you can’t be bothered with whether or not there’s anything on the dinner table we can eat, so you and your lack of culinary imagination can go fry a pig and cram it up your ass!”
I mean let’s get something straight. The following places are not vegetarian friendly: McDonalds, Sonic, and that burger place in town. And just because the steakhouse serves chicken doesn’t mean that it’s a good place for a vegetarian to eat. So don’t fucking suggest them.
Seriously. I’m not the vegetarian, but I’m done putting up with this shit.
I like when Chris rants. It’s always dead on.
Maybe your mom (wrongly) thinks that you are going to judge her meat-eating habits, and she’s acting out because she feels threatened. I don’t know. People are just weird sometimes.
Anyway, you go with your veggie ways. More power to you.
My Mom is this way and all I have done is go organic and high fructose corn syrup free. So she always gets me tons of Hostess stuff, Dr. Pepper, and gets hamburger from wal-mart because she just can’t understand why i would pay that much for something just because they “claim” its organic. I just can’t seem to get her to understand that I am not 16 anymore and I don’t wanna eat that crap anymore. She always makes some little comment about she guesses I can’t eat anything that she cooks or it isn’t good enough for me. She thinks it all stems from the brainwashing I got at “That Liberal Arts College”. She called me last night to let me know they stocked up on Little Debbies and Dr. Pepper. Ugh.
That’s it Jen. It all stems from the brainwashing and our liberal educations. I just think my mom needs to have something to criticize. She used to be able to do that with my weight. She can’t do that any more because I’m not fat Cindy any more. If she wasn’t criticizing my diet, she would be on me about my clothes, hair, fill in the blank. It’s just a never ending struggle to please her. She needs to be happy with herself and her life and because she’s not, she takes it out on us.
It’s like your mom is worried about you not getting your daily allowance of Little Debbie snack cakes. And Skittles are now vitamins.
Okay, I’m Kosher, but my mom doesn’t know it yet. We avoid a lot of this because we only see each other, at the most, once a year. My in-laws are supportive, but I’m sure my children will pig out on pork when they go to visit them. And, eating a resteraunt is almost impossible unless I eat vegitarian when I’m out. You know that EVERYTHING is cooked with dairy? Ugh!
The thing about diet is that you’re doing something that can only improve your health. If you were to do something unhealthy, I could understand the concern. But, what you’re doing is outside the “norm” and so, apparently, causes concern. You’re her baby and may never quite live up to her standards. I’m sorry.
The comments here are just too funny. My father often referred to my “damn liberal arts education” as the root of all my flaws in his eyes. I think he’s given up on any hope of forcing his opinions and only complains in under-his-breath mutterings or when I’m not around.
Just tell the family that you’re allergic to meat. No one seems to question or condemn when it’s an allergy.