MELT
16 09 2008So, I had a minor melt down over the weekend that involved my very own personal flaming tantrum of death. I don’t think that even I had realized how much I had been holding in until it all came out in a screaming blubbering snot flying fit. Oh yeah… I was screaming. I don’t scream and really for the most part, I don’t cry. Combining the two was a very rare event. Could have sold tickets; it was that shocking.
What was this tantrum about you ask? The fit was about how much I hated living in Mrs. Swan’s home. Which now that I look back at the tantrum, it seems a tad bit silly. But only a tad bit. Chris didn’t realize I was so miserable and probably would never have known if I hadn’t had the mother-of-all melt downs. After he got me calmed down and the snot mopped up, he told me that when we returned from Oregon, we would sit down put together a real budget. We will start “operation prepare to move”.
And you know what? I’ve never felt better. Things have been great even with Mrs. Swan (who wasn’t present for the show, but I’m starting wonder if she heard the tail end of it). The next morning she asked me to go washer and dryer shopping with her. She bought a new washer and dryer! A really good set and hopefully they’ll be delivered today. She actually ate dinner with us last night instead of turning her nose up at what ever I had made. She talks to me a little bit more, like actual conversation talking. And… and… I bought a new pair of jeans that fit and they’re a size 10! I’ve never been a size 10. The tag in my HS senior prom dress says 12. I have to admit that putting those jeans on and buttoning them with out sucking in, brought tears to my eyes.
So… things could be worse right? I have roof over my head and Chris and Hooper. And I told Chris this. I’m happy and in a good place right now, but that doesn’t mean I want to stay. It means I’ve found a way to live with where we are now. Later is a whole other story.
Ohhh, sorry about the meltdown. I mean, everyone had to know it was coming, right? There’s only so long one can live in a situation like that. Originally you guys had said two years. Maybe if you had like a whole basement apartment, but just in a guest room? Whoooee. You made it a lot longer than I’d have thought.
YAY FOR SIZE 10!! I am holding fast at a 12, but one day baby I’ma gonna join you back in size 10 land!
Woo! Way to go on the slimmer size!
Sometimes everyone has to have a melt down. It really forces us to sit down, assess things, see how we can improve our lives and get started. Even if it takes a while to over the edge, it’s better to start building a ladder to get out of the rut.
Mr. Swan?
Yeah, that’s what I call Chris’s mom. Ms. Swan is a character on Mad TV (based on Chris’s mom). If you go to YouTube and watch any of the Mad TV skits of Ms. Swan it will make perfect sense.
Oh honey. Meltdowns are a brilliant thing. Why do you think Sally Field does one in every single movie? I’m sorry you had all that negative built up inside you, but I got tears in MY eyes visualizing you and Chris working through it and making a plan together. You have good stuff in your life babe. The time has come to leap.
OMG!! The afterglow of a meltdown ROCKS! I wholeheartedly agree with the Flaming Tantrum of Death as the lead character. I don’t envy anyone who has to be part of the supporting cast (though Mr. Swan seems to have found the perfect place for that experience).
Congrats on the jeans! And WHY so you still have your high school prom dress? Consider ebay and the OPTM fund. Or use it for curtains – it was the 90′s after all.
Oops. I meant Ms. Swan (teehee). I don’t still have my HS prom dress. My mother does. I’ve told her to get rid of it, but she says that you never know when some one might need to wear it. Yup. Though in her defense, it’s not that bad of a dress. It’s black, sleeveless, and straight with a slit up the front.
Oh, dear Cindy. I totally understand the meltdown–good for you for letting it all hang out. I’m glad you guys are going to come up with a moving plan. You need your own space!
Yay for size 10!